Family relationships can be complex, filled with both love and challenges.
At times, family conflicts can grow so intense that some might consider disowning or cutting ties with a family member altogether.
But what does the Bible say about this?
Does Scripture offer guidance on how we should navigate these difficult family dynamics?
In this article, we will explore what the Bible teaches about disowning family members, the importance of forgiveness, and how we can honor God in even the most strained family relationships.
God’s Design for Family
From the beginning, the Bible places a high value on family.
In Genesis 1:27-28, we see God’s design for family when He created Adam and Eve, instructing them to “be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.”
Family is a central part of God’s creation, designed for companionship, love, and mutual support.
The Bible presents the family as a unit that should reflect God’s love and unity.
The Ten Commandments also emphasize the importance of family relationships.
One of the key commandments is to “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12).
This command reflects God’s desire for families to be places of respect, honor, and love.
However, despite God’s ideal for family, the Bible also recognizes that family relationships can be deeply complicated and strained.
Throughout Scripture, we see examples of sibling rivalry, betrayal, and dysfunction within families.
Even within this reality, God calls us to handle these relationships with love, forgiveness, and grace.
The Difficulty of Family Conflict
The Bible is filled with stories of family conflict.
In the book of Genesis, we see some of the earliest examples of strained family relationships.
Cain and Abel, the sons of Adam and Eve, experienced deep conflict, resulting in Cain killing his brother out of jealousy (Genesis 4:8).
Later in Genesis, we see the story of Joseph and his brothers.
Joseph’s brothers were so envious of him that they sold him into slavery (Genesis 37:28).
These stories illustrate that family problems are not new.
Families throughout history have dealt with jealousy, betrayal, and even violence.
Yet, in many of these stories, we also see examples of reconciliation and forgiveness.
In Joseph’s story, after years of separation and hardship, Joseph chose to forgive his brothers instead of disowning them.
When they came to Egypt seeking help, Joseph revealed himself to them and offered forgiveness, saying, “Do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life” (Genesis 45:5).
This example of forgiveness, despite deep family betrayal, teaches us that God desires reconciliation, even in the hardest family conflicts.
What Does Jesus Say About Family?
Jesus also addressed the topic of family during His ministry.
In Matthew 10:34-37, He says something surprising: “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth.
I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.
For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law— a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’”
This passage might seem confusing at first because Jesus is often known as the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6).
However, what Jesus is saying here is that following Him may cause division within families.
Choosing to follow Christ may lead to conflicts, especially if family members have different beliefs or values.
Jesus continues in Matthew 10:37, “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
Here, Jesus is not encouraging us to disown our families, but He is teaching that our commitment to Him must come before even our closest family relationships.
While family is important, our loyalty to Christ must always be our first priority.
The Importance of Forgiveness
One of the key teachings of the Bible is the importance of forgiveness, even within family relationships.
Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
This verse reminds us that forgiveness is essential in all relationships, including with family members.
When we choose to hold onto anger and bitterness, it can poison our hearts and create division within our families.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we ignore the hurt or pretend that the pain didn’t happen.
It means choosing to release the bitterness and seek healing, even if the other person doesn’t apologize or change.
In Matthew 18:21-22, Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive a family member who sins against him.
Peter suggests forgiving up to seven times, which seems generous.
But Jesus responds, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
This teaching emphasizes that forgiveness should be ongoing and unlimited, reflecting the forgiveness we have received from God.
Boundaries in Family Relationships
While forgiveness is essential, the Bible also teaches that it is okay to set boundaries in relationships, including with family members.
Forgiveness doesn’t always mean that everything goes back to the way it was, especially in situations where there has been abuse, manipulation, or ongoing harm.
In Proverbs 4:23, the Bible advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
This means that while we are called to forgive, we also have a responsibility to protect our own hearts and well-being.
Setting healthy boundaries with family members who are toxic or abusive is not the same as disowning them—it’s about ensuring that your relationship with God and your mental and emotional health are protected.
Jesus Himself demonstrated healthy boundaries in His relationships.
He often withdrew from the crowds to spend time alone with His Father (Luke 5:16), showing that it’s important to take time to recharge and set limits, even with those closest to us.
Honoring Parents and Family
The Bible also teaches that we are to honor our parents and family members, even when it’s difficult.
Exodus 20:12 tells us to “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
This commandment is repeated in the New Testament in Ephesians 6:2-3.
Honoring our parents doesn’t mean blindly obeying or accepting harmful behavior.
Instead, it means showing respect and love, even when we disagree.
It means praying for them, seeking reconciliation where possible, and continuing to show kindness.
In situations where honoring a family member might seem impossible due to deep hurt, abuse, or betrayal, it’s important to seek God’s wisdom and guidance.
God can show us how to maintain a heart of honor, even in difficult circumstances.
When Family Rejects You
There are times when, despite our efforts to maintain peace, family members may choose to reject or disown us.
This can be incredibly painful, especially when we’ve tried to honor God in our relationships.
Jesus Himself experienced rejection from His own family.
In John 7:5, it says, “For even his own brothers did not believe in him.”
Jesus understands the pain of family rejection, and He offers comfort to those who face similar struggles.
In Psalm 27:10, David writes, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.”
This verse reminds us that even when family relationships fail, God’s love never does.
He promises to be with us, to comfort us, and to provide for us, even in the absence of family support.
God’s Family: The Church
For Christians, the family is not limited to biological relationships.
When we become followers of Christ, we are welcomed into God’s family, which includes the Church.
This spiritual family can offer support, love, and encouragement, especially in times when our earthly family relationships are strained.
In Mark 3:33-35, Jesus redefines family when He says, “Who are my mother and my brothers? … Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”
This teaching shows that while biological family is important, our spiritual family is just as valuable.
When family relationships are difficult, the Church can offer a sense of belonging, love, and acceptance.
God often uses other believers to support us and show us His love, especially in seasons of family conflict.
Seeking God’s Wisdom in Family Matters
Family relationships are often complicated, and the Bible doesn’t offer a one-size-fits-all solution for every conflict.
That’s why it’s so important to seek God’s wisdom in every situation.
James 1:5 encourages us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Through prayer, Scripture, and wise counsel from trusted Christian friends or mentors, we can gain the wisdom we need to navigate family challenges.
God cares deeply about our relationships, and He is ready to guide us through even the most difficult family situations.
Final Thoughts
What does the Bible say about disowning family members?
While the Bible acknowledges the complexity of family relationships and the pain that often accompanies them, it also calls us to pursue forgiveness, reconciliation, and honor wherever possible.
Jesus teaches us that our commitment to God must come first, but that doesn’t mean we should easily give up on our family relationships.
Forgiveness, healthy boundaries, and seeking God’s wisdom are essential when dealing with difficult family dynamics.
While disowning a family member might seem like the easiest way out, the Bible calls us to a higher path—a path of love, grace, and forgiveness.
Even in the hardest situations, God’s love can heal and restore broken family relationships.
And when family ties are strained, we can find comfort and belonging in the family of God, who will never disown us.